No More Mr. Nice Guy!

Obama knocks it out of the ballpark

I was without power last night because of a storm, so I'm only now seeing how the big speech went. All I can say is, wow. Barack Obama is the most charismatic and inspiring leader since JFK. John McCain is a lump of boiled lettuce in comparison.

My favorite part:

But I stand before you tonight because all across America something is stirring. What the nay-sayers don't understand is that this election has never been about me. It's been about you.

Amen brother! Let the extreme right wallow in their mouth-foaming cult of Bush worship. Let them project onto us their propensity for mindless fawning adulation. The simple fact is that we support Obama because he gets it and the other side doesn't. The change he promises is the chance for us to be the change we want to see. He empowers while McCain does what rethugs always do - pander.

It's a total travesty that the opinion polls aren't 99 to 1 in Obama's favor. What's the matter with America? In my more paranoid moments I worry that the poll figures reported by the right-wing corporate media bear no relation to the actual results, and that we are being played for suckers, and fed a narrative that the race is razor-close so that the 'thugs can once again Diebold the election without anyone catching on. That's why we can't take a single vote for granted anywhere in the country - we must totally obliterate McCain at the ballot box.

And I just learned that McCain tried feebly to upstage Obama by announcing his running mate. It's Sarah Palin, the governor of Alaska. I don't know much about her - she seems to be an unknown lightweight who will be no match for Joe Biden - but I know all too much about the endemic sleaze and kleptocracy of Alaskan politics, the home of the Corrupt Bastards Club. The BBC reports:

Some commentators are calling Mr McCain's running mate decision the strangest since Dan Quayle, George Bush Senior's young and untested pick in 1988.

It seems an audacious, perhaps slightly desperate, effort to bring youth and vigor to the Republican ticket...

In an even more desperate move, a McCain advisor unveiled his party's plan to deal with the crisis of lack of health insurance. Here's an actual quote:

The next president of the United States should sign an executive order requiring the Census Bureau to cease and desist from describing any American - even illegal aliens - as uninsured. Instead, the bureau should categorize people according to the likely source of payment should they need care. So, there you have it. Voila! Problem solved.

Unreal. Bizarre. Indescribable. I look forward to McCain announcing that the mortgage crisis is over. Anyone who loses a home to foreclosure can move into one of McCain's homes, the ones he doesn't know he owns. Voila! Problem solved.

I'm sure McCain will apply similar ingenuity to other pressing problems. After all, his economic brain, Phil Gramm, has already diagnosed all of us as "whiners" who are in a "mental recession". Let's perform a lobotomy on the entire US population! Voila! Problem solved. With the added bonus that everyone will be a loyal republican from then on.

Really, folks, the election should be a formality. It should be like those communist elections where the winner gets 100% of the vote. The rethugs could not possibly be more clueless, more out to lunch, more apathetic to the tens of millions of people who are hurting because of the failed and disastrous policies of the past.

Oh, and I have to hand it to Billary. After their divisive and destructive campaign, they have redeemed themselves and gotten with the program. Hillary in particular has been incredibly classy and restored a great deal of the respect she lost in my eyes. All those bitter-end PUMAs had better wise up and become cougars, and support Barack Obama!

Onward to total victory in November!